Here are answers to some of the more commonly asked questions our organizers receive.

How old do I have to be to be considered a late bloomer?

There is no minimum age. It’s a self-identifying thing. If you identify as a late bloomer for coming out at 23 when all your friends came out at 16, that’s fine by us. In general, though, the men in this group tend to be over 30.

I’m not publicly out. Are your meetings safe for me to attend?

Many of our social meetings are held in public, so there is always the chance you will be seen by someone you know if you attend one of those. Our monthly discussion group meetings, however, are held in a safe environment designed just for gay, bi, and trans men. This is where most feel comfortable meeting until they are more publicly out.

Do you offer counseling?

No. We are first and foremost a social organization. What we do offer is a community of men who understand the challenges of coming out later in life. There is support within that community, but the group itself is not a support group. We have no mental health professionals working with us. However, we can point you to local professionals who specifically work with members of the LGBTQ community.

Do you bar women from joining ?

No. Although this group is promoted as for men, we would never turn away anyone in need of what this group offers. Currently, all of our organizers are men, so that’s where our focus lies. We’re open to expanding the group to specifically meet the needs of late-blooming women, but we don’t presume we know what those needs are. If an interested woman or group of women wants to step into the role of organizing events to meet women’s needs, we’re open to that. If that’s you, reach out to us through the contact page.

What if I don’t identify as either male or female?

As stated in the section above, we would never turn away anyone in need of what this group offers. Genderqueer people, nongendered people, and anyone else who doesn’t fit into the gender binary are all welcome.

I noticed some links to religious stuff. Is this a religious organization?

Nope. Not at all. However, affiliation with a non-affirming religion is an underlying challenge for many men who came out later in life. It’s our guess that more than half of the men in this group have struggled with the tension between non-affirming religious beliefs and their sexual or gender identities. Whenever possible, we want to offer resources for men struggling with that tension.